Winning the Lottery

Winning the lottery requires a friggin miracle because the odds are roughly 1 in 176 million. If you buy 50 tickets a week, you will win the jackpot every 68,000 years.  These are facts.  However, when the jackpot is high and I go and buy a ticket, I love to think about what I would do if I won.  In many ways, I am not buying a lottery ticket...  I am buying a reason to dream.


I love asking people what they would do if they win the lottery. It says a lot about a person and what they value.  Basically, you have removed the primary motivation and driver from someone's life (i.e. money to pay for life's basic needs and luxuries), so what you are left with is a person's true motivations (or lack there of).  A lot of people say travel, charity, or spend more time family/friends.  One of my favorite responses comes from my friend Liddick who always replies "I would break things."  For those of you that know Liddick, this should not be a shocking revelation.  


My answer to this question comes in two parts.  The first thing I would do if I won the lottery is: nothing...  for 30 days.  I wouldn't even cash in the ticket.  Here is how I would proceed:

1. Upon realizing I won the lottery, I would pass out from shock and when I wake up, casually take the winning ticket to a bank and get a safety deposit box.  The ticket goes in the box and there it will sit for 30 days.
2. After the ticket is secure, I will create a new note in Evernote and start recording all of things I plan to do.  Consider this a bucket list of sorts.
3. I would proceed with my normal life.  I would go to work, hang with friends/family, etc. for 30 days, all the while noting down anything that pops to mind as something I want to do.
4. Towards the end of the 30 days, I would start contacting estate/financial planners to layout the steps of cashing in my lottery ticket.  This would most likely entail setting up a corporation that would officially accept the lottery winnings and then I have the ability to write off expenses against the company's "profits" to reduce my taxable footprint.
5. After 30 days, I should have a pretty good list of things as well as a plan on how to cash the ticket.  I would then go back to my safety deposit box and cash my ticket...

The second part of my answer will speak to the majority of items on my list... I would mess with people.  I would have a list of pranks and random things that I would do to keep me entertained with my new found wealth.  Here are just a couple of items that come to mind:


1) I have always wanted a stenographer to follow me around and record stuff that I and others say.  There are so many nights out that funny crap is said and I can't remember it the next day.  With my stenographer, I could have all events recapped for me.  Oh...  and the stenographer will be a midget that can fit in a backpack that I wear around.
2) I have a co-worker (we will call him Ryan) who was out in Nashville on a drunken night.  He was texting me saying how random it was that he ran into one of my other coworkers from Baltimore (we will call him Johnny) and that he partied with him all night.  I casually mentioned to Johnny that it must have been cool to have met up with Ryan...  to which Johnny replied that he wasn't in Nashville.  Ryan even had a picture to prove that Johnny was there...  but Johnny could prove that he had never left Baltimore.  Ryan had partied with Johnny's doppelganger.  What does this story have to do with winning the lottery?  Well, I would make it my mission to know when Ryan was flying to some random city and pay Johnny to go there and be a random sighting for Ryan.  The goal would be to convince Ryan that he was going crazy.


Here are other items that would be on my list:
1)  I would write a manifesto of improvements and suggestions for Constellation and send it out to the entire company to peruse.  After being there for 9 years, I have seen the good and the bad and there are a lot of things that could be done to help the company.  This would be part of my 30 days and I would send it out before I cashed in my ticket.
2) Write a book.  Already got an idea for it.
3) Have an internet based business with a financial focus.
4) Go to South Africa and watch Great Whites breach.  Holy.  Friggin. Crap.