I'm Not Him

Rule #436 of Social Etiquette: Never tell someone that they resemble a famous person.

Why?  Because you are projecting all the truths, lies, stigmas, and overall impressions of that famous person onto someone else.  You are also stripping the person of any individuality.  They are now simply a celebrity impersonator...

Over the years, I have gotten compared to a couple celebrities and nearly all of them have pissed me off.

1) The Dell Guy

I still remember it.  I was in college and this little italian kid came up to me at a party.  He stood on his tippy toes to tap me on the shoulder and I find myself staring at some guido I had never seen before in my life.

Guido: "Say it?"

Me: "Say what?"

Guido: "Say it?"

Me: "I have no idea what you are talking about."

Guido: "Say 'Dude you are getting a Dell'."

I am amazed and pissed.  I seriously considered punching him in the face but decided to just walk away.  This still pisses me off.  I should have hit him.

Dell Guy ended up getting busted for weed and quickly died out.  Thank God.

2) Craigslist Killer

Nothing like resembling a murderer.  My loving coworkers in Louisville had a field day with this when the news came out and low resolution pictures like the one above started coming out.  Luckily this died out pretty quickly...  though I definitely wore a hoodie to the bar for Halloween and owned my resemblance...

3) Old Nick Carter

I don't even know who this goober is but Maryn sent me a note telling me that I was a poor woman's Nick Carter.  I don't know if I was more insulted for being compared to him or being a poor woman's version of him.

4) Daniel Craig

This is actually one that I am fine with.  Who doesn't want to be compared to James Bond?  This guy is only a billion times more awesome than me but I will take the comparison even if it is only from a distance...  at night...  in a downpour...

Asset Allocation of Life?

"Beware the barrenness of a busy life." - Socrates


"The unexamined life is not worth living." - Socrates


"As if you could kill time without injuring eternity." - Thoreau, Walden

I spend a ridiculous amount of time (apparently 2% of my life...  see below) reading about personal finance and making sure I have a clear plan on my investments.  I make sure that my investments are on track and that I am doing everything I can to ensure I am managing my money wisely...  So why am I not doing the same thing with my life?


Time is money.  Time well spent.  As a society, we frequently refer to time as currency.  There was even a movie made regarding the concept...  it wasn't bad at all actually.

JT rocks.

This had me thinking that my time is currently spread across so many different things.  The influx of 24 hour news is a constant distraction as I am inundated with Facebook status updates, tweets, stock prices, NFL news, etc.  I really doubt my brain is consuming 1% of all of this.  I equate this to a stock portfolio with hundreds of stocks that were bought on pure impulse whenever a news article came in.  If I was an financial advisor for this type of portfolio, I would prepare for a complete overhaul...  after I stopped ranting about how awful a portfolio this was.


So, here is my attempt to gauge my current life allocation and then lay out what changes I think need to be made.


My methodology is based on 8,736 hours in a year (24*7*52).  I estimated the amount of time I spend on a given activity into "hours per year."  This number divided by 8,736 gives me the percent of my life I spend on something annually.  My estimates are severely subjective, qualitative, and anecdotal -  and I am an English major - so please don't look too deep into my data. 


Here is my current life allocation as I see it.

And yes...  I do love pie charts.

And for those who don't think I actually put some math into this little exercise, here are my underlying assumptions.

Group	Category	Pct	Explanations
Mandatory	Sleep	33%	8 hours a night on average.
Mandatory	Administrative	2%	4 hours a week to do the things required in life. With no kids or wife, this is easy and consists of dry cleaning and minimal grocery shopping.
Work	Employment	30%	10 hour days times 5 business days. Includes travel time for work. I have also assumed that when I am at work but doing one of the other activities on this list, that time is NOT counted in the work estimate.
Life	Ross Poker Tour	1%	My ongoing monthly poker tournament that is in its 8th year. 1 night a month for 7 hours. 1 hour a month on average for admin.
Life	NFL/Fantasy Football	4%	10 home games, 12 hours each. 10 hours every week I am not at the game. I am counting pre-season because I am a super fan. 3 hours a week for fantasy football. 8 hours every weekend for playoffs. 2 hours a week for 6 months during the offseason. 12 hours for the NFL Draft (which is awesome).
Life	Personal Finance	2%	4 hours a week. Microsoft Money, trading, stocks information, articles, blogs, forums.
Life	Reading	2%	4 hours a week reading true paper and not random drivel on the interwebs.
Life	Pointless Internet	17%	Because I don't watch TV… this is my time suck. 4 hours a day on average. Includes youtube, Facebook, yahoo articles, emailing, this blog, Diablo III (damn you Cubbage), and the randomness of whatever appeals to me at that exact moment.
Life	Going out/Dining Out/Hanging Out	9%	I am crippled right now but usually 15 hours a week I would say. This includes happy hours, dining out, and general socializing with friends and family.

You may be thinking...

...  but this is the good part.  Here are my thoughts on the above:

1. Pointless Internet.
• I dropped my cable and overall TV watching back in January of 2011...  yet I have filled its worthless space with just a different time suck.
• I am addicted to internet and I know it.  There is no methadone or rehab for this.  I need some higher force to make sure that I only get a known allocation... I am like a child who needs some structure...  so why not get an electronic parent?  Enter the EZ internet timer.  http://www.internettimer.net/
• I am going to hold myself to 14 hours a week (2 hours a night average).  That would be a 50% decrease in the amount of time spent.  Some things I plan to do is setup my new services to send me a daily email summary. Do I really need real-time information?  No.  I can check out recent happenings in the world in a daily email and proceed with my life.
• Is this too bold?  No.  Nothing miraculous or life changing will happen while mindlessly scouring the internet with no true purpose.  Instead...  I will increase my allocation of...
2. Going out/Dining Out/Hanging Out
• The best things that happen in life are when you are with other people.  I cannot think of a single awesome memory where I was alone.  So why am I not investing more of my life into something that has much higher upside?
• To get back to our portfolio example above, pointless internet is like sticking money under your mattress.  It feels safe but you are ignoring the effects of inflation, interest, dividends, etc.  Hanging with friends and family is more like investing in the stock market.  Sure there are going to be highs and lows with some unexpected volatility but in the long run, you will be much better off.
3. Reading
• My brain processes true paper-based reading way better than it does anything on the computer because I am focused on just one thing.  On the computer, I am listening to music while watching youtube and reading finance forums.  My brain is flooded with information.  It is like the entire Dallas Cowboy Cheerleading squad seductively dancing for you.  It is awesome but you can't remember one detail about any of the girls.  It is just too much to take in.
• I like reading.  It relaxes me and allows me to slow down.  I need to increase this as well.  If I am going to be alone somewhere, I would prefer reading rather than pointless internet
4. Everything Else...
• People need hobbies.  Mine is NFL, personal finance, and poker.  When I look at these items, they are either social and/or profitable.  These are good ways to spend time in my humble opinion and I enjoy them.
• My work/life balance is fine.  Everybody can find something to complain about their employment (I know I have my fair share) but in the end, you have to ask yourself "is it really that bad?"  I have a job that challenges me and I like the people I work with.  At the end of the day, those are the two basic things I need to be happy in my job...  oh...  and a decent wage...  but that goes without saying.

I hope to make some changes as I get back on my feet and being able to look back at these posts will be a reminder to stay focused on how life is spent.  

In the scope of the world, how I spend my time is trivial but stopping to assess one's life is powerful.  If more people took the time to do a little introspection and empowering themselves to correct the areas that are lacking, we might actually have some people that want to do the same thing for America (become good politicians... is that an oxymoron?).

2012 Fantasy Football Sleepers

I love fantasy football.  I am the commissioner of two leagues and it is one of my favorite hobbies.  There is nothing better than the annual fantasy football draft and all of the planning that goes into it.  There is also nothing better than the trash talking and overall speculation that comes along with any group of competitive people engaging in a trivial activity.

Though it is early, I thought I would throw some thoughts on 2012 Fantasy NFL Sleepers.  A "Sleeper" is defined as anyone who not getting a lot of press who could have a huge year.  Examples in the past are Miles Austin from three years ago, Michael Vick from two years ago, and Rob Gronkowski from last year.  Let's see if any of these predictions pan out.

The Lions run the ball?

1) Mikel Leshoure, RB, Lions - You had to know that at least one of my sleepers would be coming off of a torn achilles tendon, right?  Well, meet Mr. Leshoure.  He got hurt in August of last year so will be a full year into his recovery by the time the pre-season games start.  He joins a Lions backfield that is comprised of Jahvid Best (who gets concussed while sneezing), Kevin Smith (who was originally cast as Mr. Glass in "Unbreakable"), and a couple other no names.  This kid has the skills to really step it up and be the lead running back in the pass happy Lions offense.  If he can stay healthy, he can definitely be a solid value this year...  and is he can avoid being suspended for his marijuana possession charges.  Why do football players all love weed?  He is currently going undrafted in early mock drafts.

I hate the Steelers so much.  If hate were people, I would be China.

2) Isaac Redman, RB, Steelers - I hate the Steelers...  it is known.  I also known that the Steelers invested heavily in their offensive line during the draft so that they can 1) protect Big Ben and 2) be a dominant run-oriented offense.  Todd Haley focused on a solid run game while in KC with Jamaal Charles and Thomas Jones.  When they threw, they loved to use play action.  All this points to an increased workload on Pittsburgh running backs.  Rashard Mendenhall is coming off a torn ACL that happened late last season and will most likely be on the PUP through at least week 8 of 2012.  Having had two ACL repairs myself, it takes a year to really feel yourself.  This opens a huge door for Isaac Redman to establish himself as the lead back for the damned Steelers.  In very early mock drafts, he is going around round 7.

The ball is my friend...  The ball is my friend...

3) Juron Criner, WR, Raiders - It is early.  Real early.  Buy why not make a truly crazy prediction and say some no name rookie WR is going to have a great year a la Steve Johnson in Buffalo a few years back?  This is my deep dynasty sleeper for 2012.  He is big, runs routes well, and catches everything.  They knock his speed...  but those same critics probably said the same thing about a kid coming out of Mississippi Valley State in 1985 who only ran a 4.71 40.  That kid was Jerry Rice.  Now - I am not saying Criner is the next Jerry Rice but he has skills and is playing on a Raiders team that lacks true possession receivers.  Sure DHB and Denarius Moore are blazing fast but for true route running and catching, they are not as polished as Criner.  Carson Palmer made a star our of Housh a few years ago and he had a similar skill set.  Time will tell but there is a lot of upside with Criner.

A camo hat? In Nashville?  Oh wait...  of course.

4) Jake Locker, QB, Titans - Matt Hasselbeck is the new Kurt Warner.  Kurt had to watch a rookie Eli Manning start over him in New York and then went out to Arizona to watch Matt Leinart stink it up.  Luckily, Kurt took over and led the Cardinals to a Super Bowl.  Now, it is Hasselbeck's turn to watch some kid start over him.  Not because he is better per se but because he is the "the future." Jake Locker is athletic and had excellent poise last year is his limited action.  He took care of the ball and I think he has a good chance to put up QB2 numbers this year.  He is currently undrafted in early mock drafts.  With Kenny Britt coming back from injury and Chris Johnson coming back from an embarrassing year, he has offensive weapons to use...  and when the defense focuses on shutting down those offensive weapons, he can throw to his TE...

Am I the only one impressed with the strength of his achilles in this picture?

5) Jared Cook, TE, Titans - As I mentioned above, the Titans will be better offensively next year.  They have to be.  And if I have learned anything, young QBs love their TEs.  TEs are big targets who stay close to the line and are a like a 270 lb security blanket.  In comes Jared Cook.  He ended last year beautifully with 335 yards receiving and 1 TD with 26 targets in the final three games.  If he can stay more consistent this year, he has the makings of an excellent value TE in the later rounds of the draft.  As a note, I drafted him last year with the same thoughts but he was too inconsistent...  so I am jumping back on the bandwagon again this year.  Fool me once...  Cook is currently getting drafted around round 12 in early mock drafts.